He is clearly a man. Notice how he's ovulating, except in a manly way.Li Shang: Chi-Fu, my most trusted advisor, I must speak to you about an urgent matter.Chi-Fu: What’s going on? Strategy for tomorrow’s battle?Li Shang: Uh, no. I think...I think I’m going totally gay for that new male soldier, Ping.Chi-Fu: Whoa - this is Pre-Industrialization China. Is “gay” even a thing?Li Shang: Well, it is now! I keep finding myself strangely attracted to Ping - who is definitely a guy, as he speaks in that weird, effeminate low-voice of his and squats when he pees.Chi-Fu: What do you want me to tell you? I’m pretty sure that’s not something we’re comfortable with in this era. Also Ping - who that little sassy African-American dragon keeps calling “Mulan” for some reason - would probably be totally weirded out if you told him.Li Shang: It’s so frustrating. I’m trying to figure out if Ping feels the same way, but he’s hard to read. Men are notoriously difficult to understand.Chi-Fu: Yeah, for a week every month he seems to get really moody and easily upset. Also his crotch gets all bloody for some inexplicable and probably masculine reason.Li Shang: That’s what I’m talking about! And you should have heard what he said after I sang that song, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.”Chi-Fu: What’d he say?
Written 2010-08-17 17:00:00
by Andrew Bridgman
from Purdue University
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