Contrary to what you might think, the best way to crash a stranger's orgy is to walk right through the front door, armed with all the confidence of Jay Leno at an antique car show. If someone is standing in your way, dazzle him with one of the following lines as you smoothly brush past:"Did you see the march for civil rights outside?"“Don’t worry about me—this boner is just for show.”"Great googly-moogly! You haven't changed in twenty years!""Would you be a peach and fetch me a Sanka?""Just direct me to the game of ass-naked horseshoes, please.""This is the best day after surgery ever."---------- Once you make your way inside the orgy site, you're more than halfway home. The trick is to be affable and charming but also inconspicuous. There is still a chance you'll be approached and questioned by someone who doesn't recognize you. If so, you'll need to have some additional lines ready:"I hope you know you're talking to a tetherball champion."A classic bait-and-switch, this line gets other attendees who may inquire about your presence thinking, They have tetherball here? Or, in the case of confrontation by the host or hostess, they will simply think you are talking about some advanced sexual technique and be shamed into silence—perhaps even tears—by their unfathomable ignorance."I'm a friend of Big Russ. Who are you?"Count on it: at any swingers event, there will be an attendee nicknamed "Big Russ.""Wait a sec—I gotta wear a rubber?"If there's one thing that quickly diverts attention, it's putting people on the defensive. The beauty of this line is that no matter what answer you receive, you can react accordingly: relieved, bored, angry, baffled, bewildered, nauseated, catatonic, or drenched in sweat."Donna collapsed again. Have you seen her purse?"This is alarmist behavior, yes, but it's also very effective in a pinch.
Written 2010-08-24 17:00:00
by OBOJ
58 likes
Beyonce Knowles
David Beckham
Johnny Depp
Jay-Z
No comments:
Post a Comment