Jon Grosselin: Extortionist

The bloated lazy wild mud hog in the picture above is a mastermind extortionist who threatened to turn Kate Plus 8 into Kate Minus 8 Plus A Social Worker if Kate Gosselin didn't stuff $50k to $100k into his ample chest dumplings. This is according to Jon Gosselin's ex-piece Hailey Glassman.
Hailey, who should really be trying to figure out how to fix her NOT RIGHT brows instead of talking to Radar Online, claims that she was there when Jon tried to get thousands of dollars out of Kate. And she has handwritten script notes as proof! Hailey says that Jon wrote down what he was going to say right before he called Kate and she kept those notes.
The plan hatched into Jon's brain when he found out that his daughter Mady had fucked her arm up. Jon told Kate that he would tell Child Protective Services that she beat on Mady unless she paid him off. Hailey explains to Radar, "We were in bed and Jon called Kate on speaker phone. He wrote down what he wanted to say to her and then he read from his notes. He told her, 'You either give me money, or I'm going to call CPS.' Kate would just say, 'You're sick Jon, you're sick. How could you do this to me? You need help.' I just remember thinking at the time that if he could do this to the mother of his kids, what would he do to me?"
Hailey says this happened over and over again, "That's how he works. He'd say, 'I'm going to go public with the way you treat the kids, I'm going to call CPS and the news and tell them everything unless you give me what I want.' "
Jon denied all of this and said Hailey is making all this shit up for a quick check.
The Weekly World News has more credibility than Hailey Glassman (no offense to Bat Boy) so I wouldn't be surprised if she did make the whole thing up to keep her bong full. I really wish she would spend her money on a brow transplant instead.
You know, when I read shit like this it always makes me wonder what really went wrong with Jon & Kate? Kate is a vicious cuntress who would disembowel a ladybug and its babies if they got in her shot. And Jon would gladly drop off his child army in front of a foster home if it meant he got to keep slurping Schnapps out of a cocktail waitresses' belly button. The two really are Satan's favorite couple and belong together forever.
Djimon Hounsou Maria Conchita Alonso Demi Moore Timothy Bottoms