Saturday, September 11, 2010

Roommate Confessions: Issue 141

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We finally moved in to together. Needless to say our first 3 months living together have been a little rocky. I was feeling that I needed an outlet to vent my frustration with her, when the opportunity finally presented itself. When my GF left to go pick up dinner I was left to watch her niece and nephew, twins, age 2. I took the opportunity and handed them the permanent markers out of my GF's backpack. I also gave them her brand new hardcover edition of the Black's Law Dictionary, and all of her current law school textbooks. They went to town ruining over a $1,500.00 worth of her books. I got out of it by pretending I got locked in the garage while doing laundry (our garage door is broken so the only way in is through the door that locks easily from inside the house.) She told her sister that the kids can't come over anymore. Things have been going pretty good for us since then.I Love My Girlfriend, Most of the Time5 years ago when I was attending my last year of boarding high school I was kicked off the hockey team for sending another teams captain and coach to the hospital after they instructed their team to trip, check from behind, and slash our team. I was, at the time, 6'2" 190 and the best defense the school had ever seen. My roommate was in charge of sharpening the skates before every game and after every 3 practices. Before the 2nd to last game (very important) I offered to do the skate sharpening for my roommate so he could sleep. After sharpening all the skates I put a very thin layer of clear dry glue on the dominant edge (inner side of the blade) of each players skates. It was amazing watching the whole team consistently face plant all over the ice. Sorry you all didn't make it to state for the first time in 10 years. Sorry roomie that you got fired from the hockey team work study. Sorry coach you lost your job. Next time don't kick your #1 player off for inducing justice.AnonymousAs opposed to the ever growing douch-baggedness of the confessions on this series, I have an old school prank confession. Me and a bunch of my buddies managed to get a hold of some saran wrap (compliments of the director of food services) and we covered all of this kid's stuff with it. Desk, bed, rolling chair, we got it all. But before we did that, we took all his sheets, pillows, laptop, and desk accessories and put them in his closet. Before duct taping the hole in the wall that was the closet we put this one girl in there and duct taped her in. We did all this while this kid, who was a good friend of all of us, was in the bathroom/showering. Needless to say, he was shocked. But nothing could ever beat his reaction when the girl popped out of his sheets/pillows while he was de-taping his closet. The kid got his revenge though. Being best described as Walter Kowolski from Gran Tarino, he beat the crap out of all of us with his belt.Franchise X from Siena CollegeMy roommate at the fraternity this summer was a b*tch. He complained that he needed constant light and sound to sleep at night, so the Disney Channel would be blaring at full volume 24-7. He was a huge slob too, leaving week-old pizza boxes and dirty laundry all over the place. He left the whole mess behind when he went to study abroad. One night, my best friend/greek little sister got sexiled, so naturally I let her crash on my couch. Little did I know she would decide to sleepwalk across the room in the middle of the night, drop her












Written 2010-09-06 16:00:00
by Jeff Rosenberg
from New York University
6 likes







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